#00017: Something about stuff and etc

I’m still disoriented. My abdomen less distended. But something is still missing.

Stability.

Stability is missing. Mental stability.

I want to go to the gym.
I check the time.
It’s probably crowded now. I’ll go in an hour.
Do I need to take a gym bag? Or should I just shower at home?
What if I wanted to go somewhere after the gym? I don’t enjoy stepping on a wet, hairy bathroom floor.
I’ll shower at home. It’s all settled then.
Where will I park the car though? It doesn’t matter. I’ll find something.
And then I’ll walk from the car to building, up to the 5th floor and go to reception.
I’ll use my key fob to access the gym, and then hijack a treadmill.
I just want to walk today. I just want to move for more than 5000 steps.
But what should I do while I’m on the treadmill? It looks boring.
What should I eat afterwards?
I’ll go shower first before I decide what to eat.

Fuck.

What’s the point of going to the gym today? I’ll end binge-eating any calories I burn.
If I don’t binge-eat, how will I sleep?
Pills don’t work.
I can simply stay up till whenever sleep is ready. But that will mess up my day.
My days are already messed up.

My head is messed up.

Please mute the voices.

Categories: The Journal

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