I .. I don’t know what to say.
This is a very raw post – unmodified, unedited, whateverted.
I’m tired of being my current self – depressed, then optimistic, then fucking depressed again, then I have no fucking reason to do anything, then I’m back up again.
I tried several things. I tried so many things, and with each failure my disappointment and despair grows deeper.
I will stop writing – I’m talking to you, Mr. Future You, and I want you remember this time.
I don’t have any energy to find the energy needed to get back up. I give up. My mood wins.
Mr. Mood, you win.
I might come back in a couple of days, or weeks, months, or never. I don’t know.
But I know I can’t go on living like this – craving drugs, indulging in a mind numbing fantasy.
Phase 2 – whatever it meant – is over.
Categories: The Journal