#00095: Day 12

Tuesday – May 31 2016

If you’re reading this in the future, please try to remember this period.

I haven’t had a day like today since my time in college. This is not necessarily meant in a positive or a negative tone. No emotions or feelings, actually.
I spent the entire day reading about anything I could find online, mostly on history.
Sure, my mood was up and down most day, but I (tried) to not let it me down.

(I’m writing this the next day, so I can’t remember how yesterday went, but here’s a summary:)
Woke up late for work. Got dressed. Work.
Boring morning report. Keep quiet, I remind myself.
Google whatever comes to mind. Jump to another article. And another. The YouTube effect (but with literature).
Done with work. Home. Bowel movement. More reading.
Walk around the living room. More reading.
Sit at my desk. More reading. And more reading.
Leave the house. Get in the car. Drive around in circles.
Park in Tennis Square. Read some more.
Jealousy. I’m jealous, actually. Why? Because they’re energetic and they’re moving around.
Who are they? People. Everyone. Anyone.
I used to be like that; what the fuck happened?

I’m still parked. It’s getting darker. More reading.
Wow, so I’m not the only one who goes through the motions I guess … 

Back home. More reading. Hungry.
It’s getting late. Late night binge? Not really. Just more-than-needed food.
Get in bed. Watch videos. It’s 11pm. It’s 12am. 1am.
Fuck. Can’t sleep. It’s OK. 2am.
I guess I’m pulling an all-nighter.
3am. Now I’m sleepy. Work in 2 hours.
Stay up and leave work early?
3:30am. Shit. Very sleepy. I’ll just rest my eyes for a bit …

Shit. I’m late for work. Again.
Day 13. Repeat.


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