#00114: Contrite

July 13 2016

I write a few sentences before deleting them to start with something new but end up deleting that as well. And so on.
This has been going on for more than an hour. It’s not “writer’s block” – I’m simply too ashamed and angry to know what I want to write.

So I’ll just write. If I read it again in the future, I might understand. Sadly, if a stranger stumbled upon this post, I’m not sure they’ll get what I’m trying to say.
It doesn’t matter. All I know is that I need to say something about this.

  • 20-year old female died during labor.
  • Hospital refuses to give any details to husband.
  • Cause of death on certificate: Amniotic Fluid Embolism.
  • Due to cultural and social reasons, she was buried.
  • The husband, still not fathoming the ordeal, requests an exhumation and legally seeks the forensic department.
  • District attorney calls forensic department and discusses procedure.
    • Body has been buried for more than 3 weeks.
    • Medical notes are completely neat. (What the general public don’t know is that the notes are always so perfectly written when it comes to a medicolegal cases in this very, very rich country.)
    • Forensic folks claim that “according to the notes, everything has been done correctly. No signs of medical negligence.”
    • Forensic folks also explain that “exhumation will be fruitless in this case”
  • Social media outcry. Even the strictly-monitored, government-praising newspapers wrote about the social media frenzy. They even interviewed the husband!
    • With 0% freedom of expression in this country, they won’t divulge any further information.

The best term to describe this story is the infamous Trending.
And that’s all it will ever be – a trending topic for a few hours or a few days, and then people will give up when they realize the Ministry of Public Health isn’t giving a single fuck regarding the matter, neither are the top officials nor anyone with authority.

You want to know why I’m angry? Because I don’t have the balls to whistle-blow. Divulging a single extra word about this case can and will lead to prison with a high probability of torture.

This is first unethical, inhumane, pure medical-negligence case I witness in my life. What did I do? I wrote an unclear, completely vague note and published it on a blog with zero traffic, hoping I made sure that I didn’t disclose any single detail on the case.


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