#00120: Happy Birthday

This post is dedicated to Mrs. 10000posts aka Princess Fiona aka Nala.

I never believed in love. I cringed when I watched a love scene in a movie.
I believed in trusting myself and myself only. My life had no room for strangers.
Love meant vulnerability – opening up, sharing, waiting, fighting, yelling, needing someone else.

I was wrong.
Love isn’t a “thing” – it’s not an object, it’s no t an event, it’s not just feelings.
Love is a “being” – life gives birth to what we call love; it either lives or dies, it can grow or shrink, it either matures or remains immature.

I’m not an expert on the life cycle of Love – I simply chose to marry the girl I fell for in 2012. (I will get to that soon)

She was in my Anatomy group. Students would stand around a cadaver, mostly pretending to observe what the professor is doing. Some nerve runs here, another artery is there, this microscopic dip in the femur is called something.
Every 2 or 3 weeks, we have what’s called a “Card Signing” – an Anatomy exam: you stand in front of 20 of your peers in total silence, all eyes on you and the professor who fires questions about shit you’re supposed to know. In retrospect, I find it entertaining.
And that’s when I really began to fall for that awkward girl.
I noticed how her hand shakes when the professor hands her a bone and asks her to name every imaginary thing on that bone (Gray’s Anatomy is a book filled with lies!).
I remember standing behind her and whispering in her ears to not be scared. Don’t be scared. 

The months went by .. I wasn’t sure why I felt happy when I saw this girl. I just loved being around her. (Keep in ming that I still didn’t believe in love)
And that’s when I came up with a lame plan to be with her more: I asked her if she wants to be my study buddy for Anatomy. Honestly, I just wanted to be around her more.
I sometimes think to myself that “we fell in love surrounded by death.

Finals came by. By that time, my strange feelings about this became stronger, and we were texting each other. (I began using WhatsApp because Mrs. 10000posts loves using it. Sigh.)

And that’s when I wrote the letter. A 28-page* long letter explaining I have feelings for her. While I was writing it, it felt like the high of a drug – music was better, love songs were about us, etc etc.

*Page number might be inaccurate. It could be 27, 28, 29 or anything else. Definitely more than 27. I think.

On June 1st 2012, I summoned the courage to ask this beautiful, awkward girl if she wanted to be with me. And I handed her a 28-page letter explaining why I wanted her.

On December 11th 2015, we were formally husband and wife.


Love is a beautiful creature of unknown origins.

(Wednesday, July 19 1989. 22:35)
I was born 27 years ago, but I was reborn in 2012.

This post isn’t about me.
This post is about the person that somehow tricked me into loving her. And I’m glad I did fall in love with her; she’s my best friends, my partner in crime, my buddy, my lover, my other-half, my heart, my soul, my everything.
And best of all, she respects my need for a daily dose of alone time.

Although it’s my birthday, it would’ve meant nothing without my wife in my life.

Dear Mrs. 10000posts,
Last year I hated my birthday, but you made it less shitty.
You were with me when all I thought about was suicide.
You stuck around all this time with my unstable mood.
Without you by my side, I wouldn’t have been celebrating my 27th birthday.
I love you.
P.S. thanks for the cake.
P.P.S. you know I’m trying to lose weight, but thanks anyways.

“The best love is the kind that awakens the soul; that makes us reach for more, that plants the fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. That’s what I hope to give you forever.” – The Notebook

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