#00158: Finding Yourself

Let’s start by defining “self”.

Is it a thing that you find?

Is it fixed? Is it changeable?

OK. Let’s agree on simpler definition that the self is a collection of things you like, things you dislike, memories (fake & real), thoughts (known & unknown), desires (suppressed & expressed), emotions, …etc.
In other words, the self is “You”.

Now, let’s forget all that and make up any definition of the “self” we want.
It doesn’t matter.
The real secret is in the word “finding”.

Let’s use some official definitions of the word “Finding”
1) A piece of information that is discovered during the official examination of a problem, situation, or object. (http://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/finding)
2) The act of a person or a thing that finds. (http://www.dictionary.com/browse/finding)
3) In the context of law, a finding is the result of the verdict of a jury or a court (the finding of a judge). A decision upon a question of fact reached as the result of a judicial examination or investigation by a court, jury, referee, or coroner. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Finding_(law))

What’s the common theme that defines finding? work.
To find something, anything, work is required.
Work is an action.
Sitting down on my ass all day is not work.
Complaining. Worrying about the results. Fear of starting something. Anxious about “what ifs” and “what wills”. Regretting the past. Shame.
None of that is an action. None of that is working towards finding a result.

Finding yourself depends on the “finding” bit, and not the need to define the self.
Read up some psychology and philosophy books that deal with what the self might mean.
As for now, getting up and doing something is an action.

Besides, it doesn’t matter if you can’t find your passion – your true calling – your love in life. Start with doing what you “don’t mind doing”. I’m not even asking you to do what you “kinda like”. Just the things you “don’t mind doing”.

You don’t mind reading? Read.
You don’t mind cooking and creating some weird dishes? Do it.
You don’t mind playing the guitar? You don’t mind drawing?
You don’t mind busting your ass off to save money so you can buy a ticket and go to Spain and teach English? Do it.
You don’t mind freelancing while you keep your job to support your sudden interest in collecting currency? Do it.

Do something you “don’t mind doing”, and we’ll worry about the results later.

A good friend recently told me “Do it, man. Just do it. Do it. That’s all”


4 replies »

  1. It’s such a wonderful feeling when a friend’s words of encouragement open up a door of possibilities. Sometimes when someone tells me something insightful, I often find myself asking, “why didn’t I think of that?” Or “can it really be that simple?” I’m always pleasantly surprised at the outcome.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Indeed. Sometimes a friend’s simple words cane make a huge difference, even though those same words have been circulated around very often.
      Perhaps it’s the fact that a friend said it directly to me, instead of reading it or listening to it somewhere. Or perhaps it’s the way they said it, looking directly into your eyes choosing the right tone to say it.
      Either way, it did indeed make a difference, knowing that someone really cares for you, wanting the best for you, not expecting anything in return but your own wellness.
      Thank you, crazykatya 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    • Your welcome 🙂
      There might be still more days when you’re in bed waiting for thoughts to still.
      Thoughts won’t still. Thoughts are either allowed or ignored (I can’t mute the voices in my head, but I began telling to f*ck off whenever I notice I’m losing myself inside my head).
      Good luck!


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