Let’s start by defining “self”.
Is it a thing that you find?
Is it fixed? Is it changeable?
OK. Let’s agree on simpler definition that the self is a collection of things you like, things you dislike, memories (fake & real), thoughts (known & unknown), desires (suppressed & expressed), emotions, …etc.
In other words, the self is “You”.
Now, let’s forget all that and make up any definition of the “self” we want.
It doesn’t matter.
The real secret is in the word “finding”.
Let’s use some official definitions of the word “Finding”
1) A piece of information that is discovered during the official examination of a problem, situation, or object. (http://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/finding)
2) The act of a person or a thing that finds. (http://www.dictionary.com/browse/finding)
3) In the context of law, a finding is the result of the verdict of a jury or a court (the finding of a judge). A decision upon a question of fact reached as the result of a judicial examination or investigation by a court, jury, referee, or coroner. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Finding_(law))
What’s the common theme that defines finding? work.
To find something, anything, work is required.
Work is an action.
Sitting down on my ass all day is not work.
Complaining. Worrying about the results. Fear of starting something. Anxious about “what ifs” and “what wills”. Regretting the past. Shame.
None of that is an action. None of that is working towards finding a result.
Finding yourself depends on the “finding” bit, and not the need to define the self.
Read up some psychology and philosophy books that deal with what the self might mean.
As for now, getting up and doing something is an action.
Besides, it doesn’t matter if you can’t find your passion – your true calling – your love in life. Start with doing what you “don’t mind doing”. I’m not even asking you to do what you “kinda like”. Just the things you “don’t mind doing”.
You don’t mind reading? Read.
You don’t mind cooking and creating some weird dishes? Do it.
You don’t mind playing the guitar? You don’t mind drawing?
You don’t mind busting your ass off to save money so you can buy a ticket and go to Spain and teach English? Do it.
You don’t mind freelancing while you keep your job to support your sudden interest in collecting currency? Do it.
Do something you “don’t mind doing”, and we’ll worry about the results later.
A good friend recently told me “Do it, man. Just do it. Do it. That’s all”