#00183: Update

My last post was titled “30 days“.
On day 4, I got so sick I started vomiting mucus.
I couldn’t continue with the program. I tried to resist the illness – I didn’t believe I was ill.
I told myself “it’s all in my head”. But it wasn’t.
I was sick. For real.
So, I binged.
And I gave up on the program. Why?
Because I failed to follow the plan.

Just like I failed my “post a day” promise.
And just like I failed to the “write a book” project I had with a friend.
The same goes with failing staying sober, doing this, finishing that …

Empty words.

Oh, and I lost all my savings. I lost all my investments.
And now I’m in debt.

However, this isn’t a depressing update.
I won’t be making any more promises or programs. (This is not a promise).

I wrote down 2 questions on a piece that I hope might shed some light into my current mess:
1) How can I make the most out of my situation?
2) Imagine it wasn’t me who was experiencing this current shit, what will I say to that person who is in the exact same situation?

 

 

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Categories: Project: FatBoy, The Journal

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8 replies »

  1. It takes a great amount of strength to look at a problem and try to change your perspective. Good for you. I hope that you find the insight you need within your contemplations.

    Missing a goal isn’t a complete failure. Working towards a goal is like building something. You make the foundation, you get the walls up, then you hope it’s over when the roof is on. Everything you do in the right direction is building on your success. You may only have the foundation and walls today, but it is something to be proud of.

    I hope you aren’t too hard on yourself. It is a lot easier to focus on the negative it seems like, for everyone. You have a lot of positives, though. Make sure you are keeping them in mind. You are going to figure out what works for you, because you have committed to yourself. Keep your chin held high where it belongs.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Thomas Edison invented the light bulb but he failed at the task a thousand times before becoming successful. He was told he was stupid in school and never succeed. Although he was fired from his first 2 jobs, he never quit. No matter the difficulties, keep going towards your goals and you will succeed.

    Liked by 1 person

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