#00193: Crying in the car

I was stuck in traffic. Nothing new.
Then I broke down. I started crying. I frantically called my wife but she didn’t pick up.

A sudden rush of fear took over. I was so scared I froze in my place. The only thing moving were my tears – my eyes were vomiting because of the paranoia that was in my head.

Fear.

Your words are useless when fear takes over.

I parked on the side and kept on crying.
My wife wasn’t picking up. I didn’t have anyone to call. I needed help but didn’t know where or how to find it.

And then regret tags along. I wish I never left Ireland. I only had 2 years left. I never had to deal with hypocrisy when I was in London or Dublin.

But Jordan? The only way to survive is to let go of your manners and become a monster whose goal is to devour every asshole that crosses your path.

The thing is, though, I hate quitting because of a bunch assholes that see me as a walking barrel of oil that shits gold ..

I’m not making sense. It’s ok. You understand. By you I mean myself from the future.

Goodnight.

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