200 posts later, and the so-called “journey” isn’t going anywhere. I’m not going anywhere.
Exactly 2 years ago, I got a call from my father. “Your brother .. Bahrain .. dead..”. I don’t think I can ever forget that night and the days that followed.
200 posts later, and I have not stopped self-chastising my worthless self. I have no love for myself at all. No matter what I do, no matter where I go, no matter what I try, I always end up hating myself more and more.
Some doctors called this “General Anxiety Disorder”. Other labeled me as “Bipolar”. A few told me to go fuck myself because they got bored of listening to the same self-depreciating record I keep on playing.
I have nothing positive for you, folks.
I’m currently at a place in my life where I neither see the glass as half full nor half empty – I simply want to grab the fucking glass and throw it as hard as possible at the wall so it can shatter to a million little pieces. Fuck the glass and whatever is in it.
200 useless posts later, and my journey is still stuck in the mud of fear and self-loathing.