#00262: Silence is Power – 3

Not always. Silence, for a beginner such as myself, can be the breeding ground for more anger, resentment, and fear.
I want to shout. I want to break something. I want to be noticed by anyone.
I want you to feel sorry for me.

Silence is beautiful sometimes. It’s a self-imposed prison sentence.
Silence + action = progress
Silence + waiting for something to happen = recipe for disaster.

Everything at the moment seems to be dependent on my results. Fucking results.
Every year. The same story, the same fear, the fucking anxiety that is synonymous with school results.

Business is moving slower than a dead turtle. Every day we’re faced with new rules and regulations. I can handle it, but I certainly cannot handle waiting for the unknown.
Pass or fail, I want to move forward.
Pass or fail, I need to move on with my life.

Silence means losing the luxury of complaining out loud.

Silence means bottling up everything.

Maybe silence is overrated? I don’t believe so. I’m just worried about my results, folks.
The yearly festival of waiting and waiting and waiting some more.

I have no patience for waiting.

I have been working on the decorations for our new shop. The entire place has no ACs, and the temperature averages 40 degrees (+ 100000% humidity). But I still kept working.

My life is dependent on a piece of paper to be released soon. How long is soon? No one can answer me.

Meh.

Goodnight.

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